I recently took a sabbatical from teaching yoga.
I took a break because I got frustrated with teaching and with practicing yoga. My heart has been in a bit of weird place lately...
and I'm going to admit to thinking things that you don't hear yoga teachers say (out loud):
The gist of it was "Who f@#ing cares? Seriously. Who cares about the splits or handstand or child’s pose or Savasana for 20 min in the deepest realms of whatever?"… it just didn't seem to matter. I've learned so much about the human body and brain, realized that all the stretching in the world may not make you more flexible. I have clients whose nervous systems HATE Savasana. And, anyway, I have a million other things to do, kettlebells to lift, barbells to cry over and I was getting internally a little cranky with my students.
But, it dawned on me slowly over the course of my time off from teaching, that I had forgotten about Yoga. I had forgotten about the goddess or God or the Universe or whatever your heart calls that which IS. I forgot about Forgiveness. Hope. Surrender. The spiritual journey that got me started in the first place. those things have slowly started to permeate a breath-focused asana practice that I'm practicing on and off the mat.
Yoga practices, like relationships, rise and crest and fall and disappear for a while.
If you need to hear this today: You have permission to take a break from asana. You have permission to take a break from kettlebells. You have permission to take a slightly (or vastly) different path if it helps you connect to the ever-evolving spirit that resides deeper than your deepest breath.
This playlist came from that spot in my heart.
The still-raw, emerging space. I hope it's an inspiration for your practice whether that's on the mat, on the trail, in the gym or just being still.